A day in the life of a doctor

It is not a very good or joyful month for us, there is a touch of sadness akin for the month. First we celebrate the life of Butch CASTILLO on his birthday. A great loss to the organization as he was one of the founding member. Then we loss a senior adviser, our beloved Dr. Florencio Molejon. So for the end of the month, here is an entry to put a little smile on our face. Tidbits in a life of a doctor. Unfortunately, it is not from the local setting but it is funny. Some of us could probably identify with some of the stories, and perhaps your story is even funnier than these stories. Again, this is just to lighten up the month a little bit.

1. A man came into the ER and yelled, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs -and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX.

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient. Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive." Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

6. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to! see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green,and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn. Submitted by RN no name

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener". Dr. wouldn't submit his name.

( i saw this in an issue of Reader's Digest awhile back, but i forgot the issue. i saw it again today in an email, i decide to post it here to share a laugh . hope you'll enjoy it as I do.)

agp

When Doctors meet. . .

WHEN a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital:-

The allergists voted to scratch it and the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The gastroenterologists had a sort of gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.

The ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted, the pathologists said, `over my dead body', while the paediatricians said, `Oh, grow up!' The psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the radiologists could see right through it, and the surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the plastic surgeons said, `This puts a whole new face on the matter'. The podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water. The anaesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the proctologists left the decision up to some asshole in administration

Lumang Balita

Isang miyembro di umano ng Medicus ang nakagalitan at pinalayas ng isang park ranger sa isang park sa California. Ito ay sa kadahilanang nahuli di umano ang miyembro na ito na umiihi sa tabi ng guard post ng park. Sa kasamaang palad ay naihian pa ng paa ng isang (bab.. ops.. ) bantay. Hindi na raw kasi mapigilan ng miyembro ang sarili at baka pumutok ang pantog kung kaya't doon na lamang sa tabi ng guard house nag paraos pero nahuli naman. (buti nga)

Archie in the morning

I woke with a headache and it is 01:20 pm. I need to prepare myself for my duty tonight but the blog first. I am trying to load a flash program that was made by one of our Brod for Medicus a long time ago. Perhaps 5 or 6 years ago. But it would not load as a picture or as a video. After trying to load it several times it would not load as it is not supported. I think they are not using flash anymore. I will try to load another video see if it is working. This AVI was taken using a canon pro 1 camera that can take a 3 minute clip. This was taken at Art Onglao's House on December 12, 2004 when me and Archie went there to go fishing. This is an active clip and you can play it by clicking on the play button. i love medicus AGP 107